Race to F--- Emerald
by Grimslade
Summary: Fiddlesticks wants to race Sonic to the **** Emerald, with the prize being Tails.
1. Chapter 1 - A Fiddly Stick

**RACE TO FUCK EMERALD**

**- By Grimslade**

**CHAPTER 1 - A FIDDLY STICK**

"WELCOME TO THE LEAGUE OF DRAVEN" Draven shouted as the war began. Leaving his nexus, Draven made it down bottom lane, which to him now felt like a routine. It didn't feel like a negative routine however. Draven didn't feel the sickness that one may feel while walking to a school that they were an outcast in, or the sickness one may also feel while going to their grandparents house on Christmas day because they know they'll have to see their presents but wait hours until they receive them because if they ask, they know they'll get yelled out by their parents for apparently being impatient. No, no, to Draven this routine of going to bottom lane felt like the rush a prison rapist would feel when he witnesses a bar of soap drop, or that ecstasy an ethnic may feel when they receive their next welfare check. When Draven arrived at the out most bottom tower, his joy increased ever so much more when he realised Ezreal was his opposition. Draven taunted the enemy Ezreal with "YOU AGAIN!? Don't you realise that I feed on your kind?", Ezreal attempted to respond with "Shut up you c-" but was quickly interrupted with Draven's spinning Axe. Ezreal had already attempted to push so far he had no chance of getting away from Draven's masculine rage, "Teaches you for not being me..." Draven mocked as he murdered the Ezreal. At this moment, Draven's so called support, Blitzcrank finally appeared. "... Where were you all this time? You've been missing the fun!" Draven said to his support, Blitzcrank didn't respond however, instead he just stared into Draven with his souless robotic eyes. Blitzcrank's lack of response seemed to have triggered some pent up rage in Draven, as Draven stated "You know what Blitz? You're the most annoying enemy sup I've to deal with, now you're going to be the most annoying allied sup as well?...", Blitzcrank still had no response for Draven and continued to only stare into him. "Fine" Draven eventually accepting his supports attitude, "I think I see that blonde haired sissy returning anyway". Ezreal seemed to be far more cautious this time around, barely pushing his lane at all. Though inevitably, like all champions, Ezreal got cocky, forgetting Draven's overpowering might. After pushing just ever so slightly to far, Ezreal was met with Draven's spinning axe once again, only this time he was close enough to his tower to make an escape on roughly ten percent of his health. However, Blitzcrank was able to make one of his legendary pulls right at that second, he grabbed Ezreal and pulled him into his embrace. Before Draven even had a chance, his support finished the job with a blow from his cold robotic arm, leaving Ezreal a mutilated corpse. Blitzcrank let out a very machine like "HA.. HA.. HA", this was about as hysterical as he could get. Draven was livid at this point, he checked Blitzcrank's stats and saw that he was building for Attack Damage. "FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK" Draven screamed into his betraying support, but was only met with a continious "HA.. HA.. HA". At this point, while checking the scoreboard for builds, Draven noticed something that sent chills down his manly spine. As Draven staired into the smite spell chosen by the enemy he yelled furiously "WHY DIDN'T I NOTICE THAT FIDDLE WAS JUNGLING BEFORE!?", having pushed so far, it was too late for Draven and his not so trust worthy support. "GET OUT of here, now Blitz" Draven pleaded but Blitzcrank just returned to staring him down, saying nothing in  
response. At that moment, a wild Fiddlesticks jumped out of the near by bush "YREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" and within seconds drained Blitzcrank, leaving him as a dead husk of metal, a shadow of his former self. Now stronger than ever, Fliddlesticks taunted Draven with a "Jesus Christ how horrifying...", Draven was shocked, unable to speak. Fiddlesticks moved in for the drain, letting out another "YREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA", but at that moment, Draven had just leveled up due to near by minion battles, he didn't think he would need it but now was a better time than ever to upgrade his escape. Draven acted so incredibly fast that not only did his escaping axes cancel Fiddlestick's drain, but they also caused a rip in space and time itself. Draven absolutely stunned at what occurred, was left only to watch Fiddlesticks violently try and escape the void. Fiddlestick's efforts were useless however, and he was eventually absorbed into the void.


	2. Chapter 2 - A Fucked Emerald

**CHAPTER 2 - A FUCKED EMERALD**

It was an ordinary day for Sonic and Tails on Angel Island, though little did they know it was an ordinary day about to turn chaotic. It was one of those days in which you wake up in the morning with everything seemingly fine, then eventually everything starts to go down hill and by the end of the night, when you're about to go to bed, you think back to the morning and realise that at the start of the day you had no idea how awful it was going to get. One of those, 'fucked', days. Sonic and Tails were doing what they usually do during the day, caress the Master Emerald. While caressing the Master Emerald, Tails did something he had not the courage to ask on previous caressing occasions, "Sonikuuun?...", "Yes pleb?" Sonic replied, "Later... would... would you like to caress me?". Sonic stared at Tails puzzled, he blushed and finally answered with "Why would I want to caress a faggot like you? do I look like a queerosexual or something?". Tails, very embarrassed at this point asked "Sonikun... am I kawaii?". Sonic beggining to get fed up eventually begins to say "Tails, I'll be completely honest with you, I think-" and at that very point the earth beneath them starts to quake. "WHAT'S GOING ON SONIKUN!?" Tails screams in fear, "... I don't fucking know!" Sonic hesitates to answer with. "SONIKUN! Look at the Master Emerald", Sonic then turns to see the Master Emerald transforming, crystalline tentacles begin sprouting out of it. "TAILS, you're an eight year old doctor of physchelogy! What's happening!?" Sonic asks hysterically, "Well" Tails begins "The Master Emerald's existence ties into the nature of the universe, there must be some great disruptance in the fabric of the space time continuum to cause such an effect... oh god...", "what!?" Sonic asks with great concern, Tails continues "I believe the Master Emerald is going into its... fucked... state. It's becoming a Fuck Emerald! Which can-" Sonic interrupts "wait Tails, that can only mean!?-", "Correct Sonikun, there must be a hole in the fabric of time and space, an entity from another dimension must be breaking through-". At that very moment, Tails is grabbed by one of the tentacles and is absorbed into the Fuck Emerald. "SONIKUN!" Tails begs from inside the Fuck Emerald "PLEASE, GO GET WHATEVER WAS SENT TO INTO OUR UNIVERSE AND BRING IT HERE, it's the only thing I can think of to reverse this", Sonic queries "But Tails, what do you plan-", Tails cuts in "JUST HURRY, the longer you take to get me out, the longer I'll be repeatedly forcefully sodimised for". Sonic then sped off to find this 'entity'.


	3. Chapter 3 - A New World

**CHAPTER 3 - A NEW WORLD**

"What kind of shit hole is this?" Fiddlesticks says to himself as he awakened in a daze, staring into one of Angel Island's waterfalls, which are renowned for their beauty by others. "OH CHRIST" Fiddlesticks screamed in agony as some object was thrown at his head, "DRAVEN!? Is that you?...". As Fiddlesticks turned around he did not see the manliest man of all manly men, as he originally thought, instead he was confronted with a strange monkey enemy of some sort. Fiddlesticks imediently grabbed the primate and sucked it dry, healing his head wound. "That's quite a show you can put on there..." Fiddlesticks heard from the surrounding trees, a voice that sounded quite robotic. "BLITZ!?" Fiddlestick inquired. "Blitz? No... who is this Blitz?" the voice responded with. Fiddlesticks was shocked at this point, he honestly believed that there was no person alive who didn't know about the most annoying support in all existence, he stood there, looking like he had been slapped in the face with a barracuda. "Well, I don't really care, I'm model E-102 Gamma" the robotic voice stated as its figure appeared from the jungle. "Where am I?" Fiddlesticks queried, "Oh that's not important, what's important is I like the look of you" Gamma replied. Fiddlesticks was now becoming quite confused "... what?", "You heard me, we can do this the painful way, or we can do this the fun way, the choice is yours... bitch!" Gamma stated. At this climatic moment, a blue blur rushed in between the stick rags and machine, it was Sonic. "Oh god... not you again Gamma!" Sonic yelled. "Looks like this duo just turned into a three-way!" Gamma responded with enthusiastically. "Alright, I've had enough" Fiddlesticks said as he unleashed a crow into Gamma. Spasming and losing control of his own body, Gamma fell to the ground. "Wow..." Sonic couldn't help but say after witnessing such an attack, "I assume you're the entity that passed through the void into this world?", Fiddlesticks stood in silence. "I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog, Look I need you to come with me", Sonic said to Fiddlesticks, "For what?" Fiddlesticks responded. "When you entered this reality you caused the Master Emerald to go screwy, you being here was caused the Master Emerald to become a Fuck Emerald! it absorbed my underling and is fucking him right now" Sonic explained. "I don't care..." Fiddlesticks bluntly answered. Sonic realised that any kind of order or demand to get this Scarecrow to follow him, just wasn't going to work. So instead, Sonic thought that perhaps a challenge might entice Fiddlesticks. "I'll tell you what Scarecrow-" Sonic began, "It's Fiddlesticks" Fiddlesticks corrected, "Fine Fiddlesticks, how about we have a race? a race to Fuck Emerald! First person to touch the Emerald wins" Sonic suggested. "What's the prize?" Fiddlesticks asked. "A prize?... I guess whoever wins gets to keep my underling..." Sonic suggested, as he was sure of his own victory. "Hmm, alright, deal, I could use a new pocket pussie" Fiddlesticks stated eagerly, "Oh it's a guy... apparently" Sonic responded. "Hmm, alright, deal, I could use a new pocket pussie..." Fiddlesticks stated again, Sonic raised an eyebrow, and then Fiddlesticks suddenly shot a crow into Sonic eye. "OH MY GOD, OH MY FUCKING GOD, THAT'S MY ONLY EYE YOU FUCK. I ONLY HAVE ONE WITH TWO PUPILS. OH MY GOD... OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MAN" Sonic screamed. Sonic fell to the ground crying, by the time he could see again Fiddlesticks was already gone, however, Gamma was fully revived. "I've been waiting for your weak moment for awhile hedgehog..." Gamma said to Sonic with a really creepy look on his face and a massive robotic erection.


	4. Chapter 4 - A Great Endeavor Realised

**CHAPTER 4 - A GREAT ENDEAVOR REALISED**

Fiddlesticks was speeding through Angel Island as fast as his sticks would carry him. He was getting excited just thinking about receiving a new man slave. Fiddlesticks arrived at a summit, he could see the Fuck Emerald off in the distance now; it was then Fiddlesticks started appreciate the beauty of Angel Island. Suddenly, Fiddlesticks heard a loud machine like noise and from the side of the mountain that he was standing upon, a large floating figure appeared. It was a large round man in a floating vessel. "Corki! I don't know how you got here, but I'm going to take this island for myself, become it's wooden ruler, you can either leave now peacefully or serve me, the choice is yours..." Fiddlesticks said to the man. "Are you kidding me? First I couldn't even capture a fucking hedgehog and now I have to deal with this self-entitled scarecrow? Look my name is Dr. Robotnik and I-" before the so called Doctor could finish Fiddlesticks sent a crow into him, he then feared the doctor causing him to lose balance and crash into the side of the mountain. As the surrounding jungle was caught in blaze, Fiddlesticks menacingly screamed "IT'S USELESS! IT'S SO FUCKING USELESS SONIC! IT'S GOING TO BE ALL MINE! The Fuck Emerald is only a short distance away What are you going to do? Soon, your servant will be my servant and I will rule Fuck Island as its Emperor... just wait until the rest of the League hears about this!" Fiddlesticks continued on through the flames of the jungle eventually leaving the burning area and arriving in a clearing which lead straight to the Fuck Emerald.


	5. Chapter 5 - A Finish Line

**CHAPTER 5 - A FINISH LINE**

Fiddlesticks, now ecstatic, begins to walk towards the Fuck Emerald. The Fuck Emerald floated in a clearing that was on the edge of a cliff along the coast of the ocean, Fiddlesticks could see his soon to be man-servant trapped inside. A blue blur rushes infront of Fiddlesticks, the same blur that previous stopped the aggressive encounter betweem him and Gamma, it was Sonic. "How... did you get here so fast!?" Fiddlesticks asked perplexed, "It's what I do, I would have beaten you a while ago, but you left me with that damn ass raping robot faggot! He had to finish before I was able to leave; in which he did about thirty seconds ago. Usually, I would have gotten here within twenty seconds at least but my lower back feels like I've been riding a mechanical bull all day, you know the feeling I'm talking about Fiddle?", "... Yes" Fiddlesticks bluntly replied. Sonic continued "Well, I'm going to touch the Fuck Emerald now, after that we can figure out how to send you back home", "WHAT!?" Fiddlesticks replied, quite surprised and now angered seeing his efforts going to waste. Sonic replied to the concerned bag of sticks "What are you going to do Fiddle? Stop me? I'm sorry but... YOU'RE TOO SLOW!". "HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME YOU FUCKING UNREALISTIC HEDGEHOG" Fiddlesticks retorted with, he then fired a crow at Sonic. Sonic however was expecting this due to what occurred before and he was able to not only dodge the crow but also hit into Fiddlesticks with a spin-dash. Fiddlesticks hit the ground hard, his sticks almost falling apart, "Face it Fiddlesticks, without surprise fucking eye attacks, you've got nothing on me, I am your superior" Sonic mocked Fiddlesticks and then continued to walk towards the Fuck Emerald. Tails screamed out "SONIKUN! I can't take it anymore! PLEASE HELP ME", "Hang on Tails, we'll get you out shortly,  
first I need to touch the Fuck Emerald to end a competition between that stick man and I" Sonic responded. As Sonic's hand reached for the massive Emerald, he turned to Fiddlesticks for one last stab "I told you, you're too slow...". Fiddlesticks jumped straight up from his near death state and yelled out to the pretentious hedgehog "FUCK YOU SONIC. YOU'RE TOO SLOW. YOU'RE. TOO. SLOW. CUNT". Fiddlesticks then activated his ultimate attack, sending a flock of crows into Sonic. Sonic was no match for the crows, he was unable to touch the Fuck Emerald and was left to fight them off, they began mutilating him. Fiddlesticks stood laughing at his dying opponent, "It's useless Sonic, look at me... LOOK AT ME. I've given you the gift of knowing when ones death is going to occur, you can thank me in hell". Both Fiddlesticks and Sonic thought this was the end, yet, unexpectedly right when Sonic took the breath he thought would be his last, an old acquaintance reappeared, taking Fiddlesticks' attention. It was Gamma, he ran from the distance screaming very flamboyantly "OH BOYS! Don't start the fucked up shit without meeeeeeeeeee! I'm a total gimp slut!".  
Both Fiddlesticks and Sonic stared at each other and nodded, right when the gay rape machine was about to pounce on them both, they jumped in opposite directions; leaving only the Fuck Emerald in Gamma's way. Gamma leaped into the Fuck Emerald, causing it, himself and Tails to go off the edge of the cliff and into the sea.


	6. Chapter 6 - A Grand Finale

**CHAPTER 6 - A GRAND FINALE**

Both Fiddlesticks and Sonic ran to the edge of the clearing, what they saw below shocked both of them. The Fuck Emerald had been shattered, many of which impaled the flamboyant machine, he had one especially large chunk lodged in his robotic urethra. "If Gamma's not dead, he'll want to be after that..." Sonic stated. Fiddlesticks asked "Where's the bitch?", "I don't know..." Sonic replied with, slightly concerned. Then Fiddlesticks spotted Tails drifting in the water, Sonic screamed out "HEY!... YOU ALRIGHT!?". Tails then awakened and flew up to the clearing on the top of the cliff. "Hey Sonikun, do you know what it feels like to have rode a mechanical bull all day, bec-" Sonic interrupted with a quick "yes!" and rolled his eye thing. "Well... the Master Emerald is gone, what are we going to do now?..." Tails asked Sonic sadly, Sonic replied "It doesn't matter pleb, you should just be happy you're out of that thing. Besides, we have this stick man thing now anyway, I'm sure he'll prove useful". Fiddlesticks, overhearing the two of the furries, stated "I'm still planning on taking this island over... we may not have been able to finish our race, but we sure can still have a glorious battle". Sonic, slightly surprised but still ready to take action, turns towards and responds to Fiddlesticks with "Well, I'm ready when you are you stick birded cunt". Before another fight broke out, Tails quickly grabs Sonic by the arm and asks "Wait! You never finished 'being honest' with me, as you called it, when I asked you to caress me! Remember Sonikun!? I at least want to know what you were going to say before you have another life threatening dual". Sonic stared into his old ally, but his arm on his shoulder and said "Tails, I'll be completely honest with you... I think you're a massive fucking faggot that still needs to get good", "wha... what?" Tails begins to ask as Sonic punches him square in the face, "Out classed pleb...", Sonic finishes with, staring down at the seemingly homosexual fox boy.  
Fiddlesticks stands and watches the awkward scenario occur, he then realises that the fire caused by the deceased doctors vessel have arrived to the cliff. Fiddlesticks quickly approaches the two fur-fags and alerts them "You two, fire had spread all across this island. I semi caused it when fighting with Corki. Honestly I don't think there's much we can do perhaps we should settle our differences and accept that this just might be it for us." Fiddlesticks the grabs Sonic's hand to shake it and tells Sonic "You were a worthy foe and it was an honour feuding with you today, there's no one else I can think of right now that I would rather die along side with", Sonic, quite shocked and now humbled by the scarecrows words simply replies with "Thank you Fiddlesticks". Sonic then turns back to Tails "Listen Tails, I'm sorry, I just didn't really know how to deal with your feelings for me before, in death, I want you to know that I do actually believe that you are... kawaii". "Oh Sonikun..." Tails responds to Sonic and a tear falls down his faggot fox cheeck. Fiddlesticks randomly says "You know what guys... let's fuck!". The three nod at each other and get right to it amought the orange glow and smoke of the burning trees. Tails takes Sonic's spiky Hedgehog dick to the mouth and Fiddlesticks' wooden plank cock to the ass. After awhile Tails receives to many splinters to his colon and asks to switch positions, "Come on guys, I haven't even received any stimulation yet!" but the two others ignore him and both begin to plow in deeper. After about ten minutes, the three start burning severely. Both Fiddlesticks and Sonic begin to go into Tails harder and harder and eventually both finish in him, they keep at it. Eventually, Tails died due to a ruptured colon, after realising this, the two finish in Tails for a fifth time. Due to all of the current ecstasy among the flames, Tails corpse splits into another void between worlds. Fiddlesticks now willing begins to enter the void and asks Sonic to join him, Sonic denies Fiddlesticks however "It would be an honour friend, but there's nothing really left for me anymore, go back to your life and li-" Fiddlesticks however drains the rest of Sonic's energy "YREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA", knowing he will need it for the battles that further await him back in the League of Legends.  
Fiddlesticks takes one last look at the burning Angel Island and says to himself "Too bad Sonic, you could have made a good lane ally, but it was your choice to stay here and be useless... Look at this place, Fuck Island, it is a real shit hole, oh well." Fiddlesticks then fully enters the void and finds himself back at his nexus. "WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO!?" Ezreal asks Fiddlesticks, who replies to him with "I was AFK and it looks like I DC'd... Now, where's Draven? I'm sure he's owning your lane right now, him and I have unfinished business...".


End file.
